Part I
Power Positioning
There is certainly a place for biblical teaching on spiritual authority.
But if a pastor preaches on this subject every Sunday, constantly
reminding everyone that he is in charge, you can be sure that trouble
is around the corner.
In an unhealthy church, the pastor actually begins to take the place
of Jesus in people’s lives. Commonly, people are told they cannot
leave the church with God’s blessing unless the pastor approves
the decision. The implication is that unless they receive pastoral
permission, not only will God not bless them, but they will also be
cursed in some way, resulting in sure failure. Controlling spiritual
leaders use this kind of reasoning to manipulate people.
We must understand the process a church goes through to reach this
point of deception. Because many pastors measure their success through
church attendance, they may become disappointed if people leave their
church. If they are insecure, they may actually develop a doctrine
in order to stop people from leaving. They may preach sermons about
unconditional loyalty, using the biblical stories of David and Jonathan,
or Elisha and Elijah.
By using examples like these, the leader can actually gain “biblical”
grounds to control even the personal areas of his parishioners. A
controlling leader may also attempt to instill a sense of obligation
by reminding his congregation of everything he has done for them.
This kind of preaching causes church members to seek a position of
favor with the pastor rather than a proper desire to “please
God and not man.” Jesus also condemned such man-pleasing when
He told the Pharisees, “I have come in My Father’s name,
and you do not receive Me … How can you believe, who receive
honor from one another, and do not seek the honor that comes from
the only God?” (John 5:43-44).
When we pursue the honor of men, we do so at the expense of our relationship
with God. If we continue to do so, gradually men will take the place
of God in our lives. An unhealthy soul tie is created, and our sense
of confidence is determined by our standing with those in leadership.
This kind of control will destroy people spiritually!
A healthy church will not allow genuine pastoral concern to cross
the line into manipulation or control. A true shepherd will use his
influence to draw church members into a close relationship with Jesus,
who is the only “head of the church” (Eph. 5:23). A true
shepherd realizes that the people in his congregation don’t
belong to him – they are God’s flock.
Unquestioned Authority
In an unhealthy church, it is considered rebellion when someone questions
decisions that are made or statements that are said from the pulpit.
Granted, there are those who constantly question the leadership in
any church – but often such constant questioning comes from
an individual’s critical attitude. Pastors must learn to deal
with such questioning in a compassionate, positive manner. However,
in an unhealthy church, any and all questions are considered threats
to the pastor’s “God-ordained” authority. Members
who do dare to question their leaders or who do not follow their directives
often are confronted with severe consequences.
A man from one church told me, “We were told that it is more
important to obey leaders than to question what they are doing.”
He went on to say, “It was unthinkable to question the motives
of the pastor.”
For example, one couple, members of a church on the West Coast, decided
to take a family vacation. This couple purchased their airline tickets
and finalized the rest of their plans. They were looking forward to
their long-needed time off. Once the pastor discovered their plans,
he rebuked them for not getting his permission first and warned them
not to go on the trip. They went anyway. Shortly after they returned,
they were visited by some of the church’s leadership. They were
informed that by going on vacation against the pastor’s wishes,
they were in rebellion. To enforce the pastor’s authority, there
had to be some form of punishment applied. This couple was then informed
that no one from the church was permitted to speak to them or have
any contact them for a time determined by the pastor. Even their children
were not permitted to play with any of the other children from the
church.
Pastors operating under a spirit of control are often convinced that
they are the only ones who can accurately hear from God. Under the
constant exposure to this spirit, members often become convinced that
they indeed need their pastor to think for them. In essence, their
personal fellowship with the Lord has been abdicated for a relationship
with a man. As a result, they lose their confidence in being able
to discern the will of God for their lives.
An Atmosphere of Secrecy
Once a church member surrenders to a system of control, the leader
gives limited information to each individual, carefully monitoring
each relationship. As a result, each member is only able to relate
to other members based on the information he receives from the leader.
In this way, if the church staff or pastor determines that one of
the members has become a “threat,” they have a strategy
in place to maintain the control they believe is required. Consequently
the church can sever relationships when necessary and keep this process
cloaked behind a veil of secrecy.
This is not limited to members of the congregation. I know a pastor
who did this with his staff. In casual conversations he would make
a comment that would result in one staff member becoming suspicious
of another. Or he would say something to cause one staff member to
feel superior.
This atmosphere fueled selfish ambition and competition among the
staff. It became the pastor’s way of maintaining control and
ensuring that his staff could never challenge his authority. In time,
the assistant pastors discovered what was happening, and eventually
they all left.
Secrecy may also cloak the area of finances. Pastors may make brazen
appeals for money, yet offer no assurance that the finances of the
church are handled with accountability and integrity.
I have actually heard pastors tell their congregations that the financial
decisions of the church do not become a public matter because “the
congregation doesn’t have the spiritual insight or maturity
to understand the dynamics of church finances.” Have you heard
this line of reasoning?
Some pastors actually preach, “It doesn’t matter what
we do with your money. Your responsibility is simply to give.”
However, the Bible commands us to be good stewards – and part
of good stewardship is making sure that proper systems of accountability
are established to handle tithes and offerings. (See 1 Peter 4:10.)
It is very simple – money represents power. Ultimately, control
comes down to issues of power. Therefore, it should be no surprise
that controlling leaders will use unbiblical means to manipulate people
into giving.
As good stewards, when we become aware of financial mismanagement,
we are responsible for where we sow our financial seed. I can’t
imagine anyone choosing to continue to give money after becoming aware
of the misuse of funds. However, if the approval of those in leadership
is more important to a person than financial integrity, that person
might still feel compelled to give – even if misuse of funds
was involved.
An Elitist Attitude
The deadly trait of elitism produces an “us and them”
mentality. A church with an elitist attitude believes “no one
else” is really preaching the gospel – except that church.
Or at least, no one is preaching it as effectively as they are!
An elitist spirit discourages church members from visiting other
churches or receiving counsel from anyone who doesn’t attend
their church. If anyone visits another church, he is viewed as a dissident.
“Everything you need can be found within the framework of our
group,” this spirit says, adding, “Everything you need
to know, you will receive from the pastor and his teachings.”
Consequently, there is little respect, if any, for other denominations
or church groups.
One individual, in speaking about the elitist attitude within his
church, said, “Although we didn’t come right out and say
it, in our innermost hearts we really felt there was no place like
our assembly. We thought the rest of Christianity was out to lunch.”
Another man from the same church said, “When a well-known evangelical
speaker was preaching in another church in the area, the leaders would
discourage us from attending. Also, if the leaders found out that
members were considering visiting another church for any reason, they
were called in and chastised. ‘You don’t need to be going
to those other churches,’ they would tell us. ‘The ministry
here is rich enough. Isn’t the Lord feeding you here?’”
A healthy church respects and celebrates the other expressions of
Christ’s many-membered body. A Jesus-centered church realizes
that no one denomination or local church can win a city, regardless
of how large it is. Christ-centered leaders who are clothed with humility
recognize that the small church is as significant as the large church,
the Baptists are as vital as the Charismatics, and every racial group
has a place at the Lord’s table.
A healthy church will promote other churches in the city, rather
than simply promoting its own events and agendas all the time. A healthy
church will promote spiritual renewal in all churches rather than
further the idea that it has some kind of doctrinal superiority. A
healthy church will exude the attitude described in Philippians 2:3-4:
Let nothing be done through selfish ambition or conceit, but in lowliness
of mind let each esteem others better than himself. Let each of you
look out not only for his own interests, but also the interests of
others.
Part III
Copyright 2001 Mike Fehlauer. All rights reserved.
Excerpted from Exposing Spiritual Abuse by Mike Fehlauer.
Mike Fehlauer is pastor of Tree of Life Church in New Braunfels, Texas.
He is also the founder and director of Foundation Ministries. He travels
extensively throughout the United States and the world, sharing God’s
message of love, hope and restoration. He and his wife, Bonnie, also
hold marriage and family life conferences. They have two grown children.
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