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| Marla Taviano is a gifted communicator with a passion for writing and reaching young women with God’s truth. She has written four books for McGraw–Hill, America’s leading educational publisher. She and her husband, Gabe, have two preschool daughters. |
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WEDDING & mARRIAGE
Wedding Rings and School Books
By Marla Taviano
CBN.com – Many marriages face a special challenge in the first year: At least one of the spouses is still in college.
Many parents of college-age kids strongly encourage them to finish school before they get married. But the parents often relent because they would rather have their kids safely married than giving in to inevitable sexual temptation.
Christian young people tend to tie the knot at an earlier age for that very reason. If you’re already sleeping with your boyfriend, what’s the point of getting hitched? If you can have sex without the commitment, what’s the big rush?
On the other hand, if your morals and values tell you no sex without a marriage license, then waiting until graduation can seem like pure torture to two freshmen in love.
When we got married, I had graduated, but Gabe had three semesters left. With classes during the day, he had no choice but to work all evening, so our time together was limited. For the first nine months, before I got a full-time teaching job, our combined income was sparse and sporadic.
My new job provided adequate and dependable income, but I often resented the fact that I was waking up at 6:00 AM for work—and grading papers late into the evening—while Gabe slept in until his 11:00 class.
Getting married during school worked for us. Gabe had been a typical college guy before—messing around more than he studied. If he wasn’t e-mailing or calling me, he and his buddies were playing pranks on security guards and breaking curfew.
After we got married, it didn’t seem appropriate to stay out until 5:00 AM with his pals while his wife was at home in his bed (he did try it one last time). So what to do with all his free time while I was working? He actually studied for tests and did his homework! His GPA soared!
Even though school and marriage can work, it’s no walk in the park. If you’re married and in college right now, take heart. It doesn’t last forever. And it will produce some of your marriage’s most memorable moments.
If you’re in the process of deciding whether to get married now or wait until you’re finished with school, carefully calculate the pros and cons of each. Most importantly, pray—separately and together—and follow God’s leading.
The whole sexual temptation thing might be a real and valid reason for moving your wedding date up rather than pushing it back. Paul isn’t necessarily talking to college students in 1 Corinthians 7:9, but he could be: “But if they cannot control themselves, they should marry, for it is better to marry than to burn with passion.” Good verse to point out to Mom and Dad in your quest to get married before you graduate.
I showed it to my sister’s sophomore-in-college boyfriend last night just to watch his face turn pink. “Hey Daniel, I found a theme verse for you and Steph.”
His cheeks stayed rosy the rest of the evening, poor guy. But hey, it was winter, and the boy needed some color.
More from this author:
The First Year
Spouse-Speak: A Whole New Language
Adapted from From Blushing Bride to Wedded Wife by Marla Taviano, Copyright 2006. Published by Harvest House Publishers. Used with permission.
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