TESTIMONY
Kevin Kubik: Breaking The Darkness of Addiction
By Dory Nissen
The 700 Club
CBN.com
– Young Kevin Kubik’s entire world crumbled when his father was hauled away in handcuffs. Kevin never saw him again and never learned what crime he had committed.
"When I saw my father being taken away at a young age, I got angry," Kevin says. "And of course being a young age, I didn’t know what was going on. It was something I had no control of. So these feelings of anger started brewing up inside of me."
Kevin became an emotional wreck and took his anger out on anything in his path.
"I started beating up on things, ripping up on things, vandalizing cars. I had a lot of rage inside me that needed to come out."
It wasn’t long before Kevin found another outlet for his frustration: cutting himself.
"Honestly I don’t know why I started cutting. I think it might have been an attention-getter, because I didn’t have the attention of a father, a father figure."
He also started drinking and doing drugs.
"I liked the way it felt, because the pain and agony of not having my dad around kinda vanished."
It started with marijuana, but as Kevin grew older, he did every kind of drug he could get his hands on and lived in an alcohol- and drug-induced haze. Then he discovered prescription drugs.
"I cheated, I stole. I stole from family members. I would do what is called 'doc shopping'. I would go from one doctor to another. You learn what doctors will prescribe what, with certain medications that you like. For a certain amount of money, you could get on the street and it would be kinda legal."
Kevin’s emotional imbalance and his insatiable need for drugs pushed him over the edge.
"I got this bright idea to grab a jigsaw and cut off one of my fingers. Before I did that, I deadened my finger with xylocaine so that way I wouldn’t feel it. It was this finger that I cut off the first time. I went to the ER, and of course they did surgery. That would keep me in drugs for awhile."
He didn’t stop with his finger. Over the course of several years,
Kevin took an electric knife and sliced his Achilles tendon. When it healed, he sliced it again. He sliced behind his right knee. He cut the tendons in his left hand and cut off the tip of a second finger. Kevin also smashed his big toe, damaging it so badly that it had to be amputated. All for the goal of getting prescription drugs and lots of them.
"I was physically addicted to them. If I didn’t have them, I would get sick. Headaches, nausea, sweating, aches and pains. The easiest way to get rid of them was to keep doing drugs. The more I did them, the less that pain was there."
Then Kevin met Luane. He cleaned up his act long enough to get married. But it wasn’t long before Luane caught onto what Kevin was doing.
"She started finding out little bits and pieces. I believe at first I tried to hide it, but how can you hide certain injuries or stumbling around or falling on the floor?"
Then Kevin’s life grew even darker.
"Weird strange things manifesting, growls in the house. I didn’t know what actually was going on. I knew it wasn’t right.
I truly believe it was demonic possession."
Kevin’s temper became even more violent.
"Anything would set me off," he says. "I didn’t need any certain thing to happen in order for me to fly off the handle."
One night Kevin went too far. In a haze, he picked up a knife and threatened to kill Luane. She ran from the house and didn’t come back.
"When she left, I was a totally lost and devastated man. For the first time in my life, I felt really alone. Didn’t know where to go, didn’t know where to turn. Lost everything, had nothing. Hardly any health, didn’t eat. All I did was drink and do drugs. I had lost the most important thing to me. That was my lowest point."
Luane, meanwhile started attending church with a friend. It wasn’t long before she accepted Jesus as her Savior. In a desperate attempt to have any communication with his wife, Kevin agreed to pray with Luane every night on the phone. Then one night something terrifying happened.
"We had talked and we had prayed. I was lying there, and something grabbed me around my ankles. While we were talking on the phone, there was the loudest thunder and the brightest lightening struck. It was as if God was slamming down his fist and saying, 'My Son is coming to save this young man tonight.' So while we were talking on the phone, I said, 'Jesus, my life is Yours. Do with it as you please.' Immediately, I went to sleep. I fell asleep on my Bible, and I had peace for the first time in 31 years."
The next morning, Kevin was a new man.
"That morning, God through His Son Jesus Christ healed and delivered me. After 25 years of addiction, mental disorders, illnesses, eating disorders, He instantly took it all away with no withdrawals, and from that point on, He started restoring me and making all things new in my life."
Kevin’s desire for drugs was replaced with a new hunger.
"I just started devouring the Word of God. I jumped in so deep. He put a hunger in me. From the time I opened my eyes to the time I went to sleep, I just remember searching for who this person was that came and delivered me."
Luane saw the dramatic change in Kevin and came home. They now serve the Lord together; they have a good church home and lots of Christian friends. Kevin is drug and alcohol free, something he never thought possible.
"Anything that you have ever done, ever thought, every thought about doing can be forgiven. Nothing, no problem is too big for God, for Jesus Christ can handle. We just need to humble ourselves to Him and ask Him to take over."
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