Marriage restoration
Defining a Good Husband
By Amy Reid
The 700 Club
CBN.com
– Michelle and Glen Cox had what Glen thought was a happy marriage. They had three beautiful children and Glen had a promising career in the restaurant business. Things were great, or so he thought.
“In my mind a successful father and husband is just making money, bringing it home and putting you in a better life,” Glen said.
To achieve that success, Glen Cox worked over 100 hours a week. He didn’t think about the effect it had on Michelle and their three children.
“I was pretty lonely,” Michelle said. “I was pretty angry, pretty bitter. I remember arguments. When we did have time together, it would be about not spending time together and how overwhelmed I was and just that he wasn’t there.”
As Glen’s thirst for success grew, things got even tougher on Michelle. The family moved six times in five years. Glen worked across the state and was always on the road. Meanwhile, Michelle raised the family alone.
“It was to the point where I didn’t like being around him,” Michelle said. “I felt like we were roommates that lived together, that paid bills together, but all the responsibility was mine; the girls were mine. I was so lost, and I knew I couldn’t continue. I hit a wall one day and I was just like, enough. I can’t do this anymore.”
Michelle took the kids and went to live with her parents.
“I was kind of dumbfounded,” Glen said, “because I didn’t realize, you know, what do you want?! That’s my reaction. What do you want?! I put you in this big house; I didn’t want it. You know, that was the attitude I had. It wasn’t for me; it was for you. And you can kind of psyche yourself out to say, you know, I’m doing it for this.”
The big house he had worked so hard for was empty and Glen found himself completely alone.
“Inside of me, I knew something had to change. I knew I had to get a new foundation; not just about work,” Glen said. “I had to ask God for the first time and say, ‘Lord I’ve been wrong. Help me see the right way.’ I started realizing I had to get to church because I had to get connected. I had to put God first, and then get family online, and then let work come in somewhere after that.”
Glen left his management job and took lower level positions. One of his new priorities was being there for his kids.
“I started thinking about their lives and what was happening to them, and how it wasn’t fair for them to have to pay the consequences for my bad decisions,” Glen said. “So, I just took small steps. I got back to where the kids were. I tried to be a dad; got a job that didn’t own me, started attending church regularly, and then just prayed and had faith.”
He also sent letters to Michelle. A couple of years went by with no response, but Glen wrote to Michelle often.
“In the letters he would just tell me how much he loved me and tell me that he was sorry,” Michelle said. “He would tell me that he was a different person. He’d tell me about the faith that he’d gotten and that he was going to church.”
Michelle found Glen’s claims hard to believe; she filed for divorce. Glen still had hope. He prayed constantly for his family. One day as he was praying, something changed.
“We were one court date away from being divorced,” Michelle said, “and he sent me a letter and I read it. I remember sitting on the couch and just crying. I called him up and I was like, OK, let’s talk.”
Michelle and Glen began spending time together.
“I could see that in everything that Glen did, he was genuine,” Michelle said. “Just to see the changes in him, and who he was becoming and what his life was about were some of the things that made me go, you know, I’m going to go in that direction as well. I made the choice to let God into my life, accept him as my Savior, became baptized. And I’ll tell you what, God gave me a new heart. And all of a sudden, all my priorities and everything I thought was what I wanted, changed.”
Today, Glen and Michelle have successful careers and a happy marriage.
“The way we interact and the way we treat each other now is so different. It’s based on respect. It’s based on love. It’s based on God - in our decisions and what we do and how we go forward,” Michelle said.
“If you’re trapped in something that’s taking you away from God and taking you away from your family, you’ve got to make a change. You’ve got to realize that nothing’s going to change unless you make a change,” Glen said. “Take the distractions away, all the stuff that pulls at you. You’ve got to turn the music down. You’ve got to take some quiet time. You’ve got to let God lead you and watch what He’ll deliver you to.”
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