Photo courtesy of Kelly Needham and Donna Stuart |
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HOPE
To the Ladies, From the Bride
By Kelly Needham
CBN.com
– I am very blessed to say that I have a great love story. And I know that as girls we desire a great love story with the man of our dreams. But the only reason that I have a great love story to live out and to talk about is because of the GREATER love of our LORD. Let me tell you about it.
As it seems most Christian girls are, I was waiting on God to bring me my husband, my perfect man. (Of course he wouldn’t be perfect but just about perfect -- at least for me.) A few prospective guys came in and out of my life through high school and the first year of college. As they came, I considered them and contemplated if this was the one that I was waiting for. It was usually the same story: I liked the guy, spent some time analyzing whether or not he could be the one, had lots of phone conversations with him, usually went on a few dates, and then found out that he was not the one.
Finally, in September of 2005, I gave up this practice of waiting on a guy. Now, this wasn’t an easy thing to do at all. It’s hard to lay all these expectations of what your husband will be like before the feet of God and say, “I give up all these hopes and dreams to You.” That’s a big deal. We have imagined this guy for years! But our LORD knows us better than we know ourselves and can be trusted more than we can with our own heart.
It’s really cool to see how our LORD changed me in this time. Instead of waiting on Him for a guy (which was me waiting on a guy via God), I forgot there was ever a guy to begin with! My constant prayer in this time became, “LORD, You tell me when You make a decision for me.”
The months following the surrender of my “love life” were some of the most freeing, exhilarating, and joyful times in my life! I fell more in love with Jesus than I ever have before and my relationship with Him deepened in new ways that I didn’t know were possible.
I want to share a poem with you that I wrote that is a picture of this time in my life:
I want to be intimately close to someone
Someone who will wrap me up in their arms
Simply because I feel down
Someone always there to lean on
To love me entirely and always
Someone to tell me I’m beautiful
Even when I feel otherwise
Someone who is always anxious to hear me
And grateful for my voice
Someone to complete me
To be with me forever
Someone…
I want to fall so deeply in love with someone
To realize each day that I love them more
To take every opportunity I can to be with them
I want to love someone with all that I am
To give them all of my heart
The most intimate parts of me
Just as my fantasies of someone
Are crushed by the reality of no one
I walk outside.
A beautiful sunset.
And I am speechless.
I stare in amazement of the beauty
And realize…
I am close to someone
I have fallen in love with someone
And as His love for me shines brightly in the sky
I know that someone who I long for
Has been there all along
Loving me more than I could ever dream to be
I discovered that the love I was really waiting for was not from a guy but from my Creator, my Savior, my Jesus.
Jimmy asked me out in November, about two months after my surrender. I know many people don’t believe me, but during those months, I was so in love with Jesus, I really never had a conscious thought romantically about Jimmy. Looking back, I can see in my actions that there were definitely feelings there (and other people can attest to that as well) but I don’t think I ever consciously thought, “I like Jimmy.”
It’s a good thing I told the LORD to tell me when He had made a decision for me, because it was the only way I would have even seen Jimmy in the first place. I was too focused and in love with Jesus to notice any other feelings that might be happening inside me.
Needless to say, Jimmy’s proposal to me to start dating caught me way off guard. It had been so long since I had even thought about a guy in that way that the only thing I could do as Jimmy was talking was to ask God, “LORD, is this from You? Please let me know if this is from You.” Following that prayer was a tremendous feeling of peace and reassurance that I have only experienced from God. When Jimmy asked me if I felt the same way, I said yes so quickly that it surprised him and me (You can ask him. I literally said yes practically while he was still talking).
And now, 10 months later, we are married. Jimmy is very different from the guy that I thought would be my perfect husband, and it’s a good thing! God knows me so much better than I thought I did and has made us a more effective team for His kingdom.
I love that our God is a jealous God. He longs so much for our affections that He won’t give us anything that will threaten His place in our hearts. The more we desire a guy, the more reason it gives our LORD not to give it to us, because we are tempted to be more satisfied with the guy than our first love: Jesus.
If you are discouraged today because God has not brought “the one” yet, may I challenge you to stop waiting on God for a guy and forget about the guy altogether! You have your first love waiting to hear from you day in and day out. His thoughts for you outnumber the grains of sand (Psalm 139:17-18)! He will be faithful to give you the great love story that you want. Just know that it won’t be found in a man, but in Him! Trust in the promises of God, for He who promised is faithful (Hebrews 10:23).
Keep persevering, my sisters, and know that you are loved.
Learn more about Kelly's husband, Jimmy, on his Web site.
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