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Author of several books that have made the New York Times Bestsellers List
Radio talk show host, The Dr. Laura Schlessinger Program 20 million listeners
25-year-old radio show rated No. 2 in America, second only to Rush Limbaugh in popularity; AT&T verifies 30,000-50,000 attempted calls to the show daily; heard on over 400 radio stations in 98 percent of the United States
Ph.D., Physiology, Columbia University; licensed Marriage, Family & Child Counselor, USC
In talking on the radio to men and women about their relationships for more than 25 years, Dr. Laura has found that women no longer understand their own ability to create the relationships and family life that they truly desire. Years ago women were taught by their mothers that they needed to be wise and sensitive and "work" their men—they knew how to create and maintain a happy and well-functioning relationship using their so called "feminine wiles" in benevolent and mutually satisfying ways. Today, women have replaced these feminine wiles with disdain, hypersensitivity, criticism, bullying, and nagging.
Dr. Laura explains that emotionally men are "simple" creatures and women only need provide such basic necessities as respect, gratitude, food, sex, and some space for "guy time" in order to achieve the happy home they truly desire. Using transcripts from actual callers and letters from her audience (with which readers will definitely identify), Dr. Laura demonstrates how following her straightforward advice has helped their marriages.
Dr. Laura reminds women that the greatest source of displeasure and stress in their lives is their abdication of their own femininity, sensuality, and sexuality by having turned themselves into virtual workhorses. Dr. Laura shows American wives, step-by-step, how to wield their innate power as women to attain the intimacy, love, joy, sexual pleasure, and the peaceful home they so desperately want.
Two Basic Failings
These practical steps grow out of two basic areas—respect, and regard for value, feelings, and needs. Dr. Laura says women most often err in disrespecting their husbands and devaluing them publicly and privately. Her challenges to women are simple yet profound.
Dr. Laura does not make the case that women have secret weapons (like sexuality or persuasiveness) that they can launch at their husbands to get a desired result, but rather that women are designed mentally, physically, and emotionally to enhance their husbands. That in turn will bring about warm, caring marriages.
She challenges women to examine their own words and behaviors. If they used to have a good relationship that has now gone bad, what has the woman changed that may be the contributing factor? If it was always negative, what does the woman do or say that feeds the negative atmosphere?
One caller told Dr. Laura that her husband insisted she was too headstrong, but she felt her actions were simply based on the fact that it was easier for her to do things herself than ask his opinion or do a task with her husband. Dr. Laura challenged her to do three things for a few days and then call back. The three assignments were to listen to her husband’s opinion and do what he suggested, to appreciate him more, and to let little things roll off rather than nit-pick her husband. The woman did try it and called back. She was quite surprised to discover how small changes released a great deal of tension in her home and gave her a greater sense of personal peace of mind.
Are men off the hook? Never with Dr. Laura. But this book looks at the female side of the equation. It is peppered with male input, both positive and negative, building Dr. Laura’s case that women have power to enhance their own marriages.
The Power of the Tongue
Dr. Laura says a woman’s words destroy the very thing she wants most. Whether it is a more romantic or emotional or communicative husband, example after example from male and female readers and listeners shows that what a woman speaks to her man shapes and molds what she gets back in return. After listening to Dr. Laura and reading the Scriptures, one listener wrote that she asked herself the following questions: "If I really believe all the things I say/think/complain about him, why on earth are we married?", "If I love him so much, why do I act so unloving and disrespectful?" and finally, and perhaps most importantly, "What will make him continue to love me if I continue to act this way?"
One woman wrote in to say that she discovered if she spoke "blessings" about her husband, blessings are what she gets from him in return.
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