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KRISTI WATTS: Joining me now is a woman who won't shy away from the subject of sex because she knows it is far too important. Thank you so much.
KAY ARTHUR: I am so glad you have me here.
KRISTI WATTS: We heard from a couple of people what they thought God thought about sex. What does God think about sex?
KAY ARTHUR: God created it. One day I was going to teach about sex to a group of teenagers. My sink got clogged up, so I got out the Draino and read the instructions. I was going down the highway thinking about it. I thought, 'God, sex is like a bottle of Draino. It is a wonderful product and it does a wonderful job, but you got to use it according to the manufacturer's directions.' God created sex and He has a wonderful purpose for it, but the problem today is people don't understand what God has to say about the subject. Because of that, they are learning from the streets, and the streets don't even know what constitutes sex.
KRISTI WATTS: Exactly. All we are learning is what the media shows us and tells us when we watch movies and television. Sex is everywhere, but it seems like we don't know the proper context in which to have sex. If you are a virgin these days, that is a bad thing, isn't it?
KAY ARTHUR: It is a bad thing. I was just interviewed for Bridal magazine, and they were talking about how people now have stopped having sex because they are going to get married. They want to go into marriage with a feeling of virginity. They want to regain their virginity. What does that tell you, Kristi? That tells you that virginity holds a high place in their hearts. They know they should be virgins, but they have broken God's law. They are going to reap awful consequences. They found out that if you have had sex before marriage, and if you lived with someone before marriage, then your opportunity of having a divorce is 50% greater than if you had never had sex before marriage.
KRISTI WATTS: Why is that?
KAY ARTHUR: I think it is because God designed us for one man or for one woman, and we know that. Even biologically He made us that way. When a woman has multiple sexual partners, she is more liable to have cancer or endometriosis. God didn't make us to receive all of those different kinds of sperms from other people. It is such an issue, and I am passionate because I really believe that we have to get the message out.
There is an article from U.S. News and World Report from May on teens and sex. Listen to this. This doctor says the kids come in thinking they have strep throat. When they find out they have gonorrhea of the throat, they are grossed out and devastated. They have no idea these sorts of things exist. They are having oral sex.
I just got an e-mail. This is what it says: 'I was a Christian through high school. I can tell you that oral sex is a goliath-sized giant in the lives of Christians and Christian-cultured youth today. I can recall countless discussions with very confused Christian friends in my high school years about the issue of oral sex.' She goes on to say, 'Sex was not an uncommon topic of discussion behind closed dorm room doors. There, again, oral sex was a topic of many questions and lots of confusion. In fact, this is it. Sex in general is something that is not well understood.'
I was on the Clemson University campus speaking to 2,700 college students. The general consensus is that if I don't have intercourse, then I have not had sex. I am still a virgin. They don't understand that God says in Matthew 5 that if a man keeps on looking at a woman to commit adultery with her in his heart, he is guilty of adultery. Adultery is a violation of our sexuality. They don't understand that.
They don't understand that what they are doing is going to go into marriage and is going to affect their marriage. I told them on the Clemson campus that when you start having sex in different ways, then it is supposed to be in the marriage bed. Then what happens is you are setting a habit, so that's the way you get satisfied. Then you go to your marriage bed to do it in a normal way, in a way that God ordained, and you are not satisfied, so then you are trying outside of that marriage bed to satisfy yourself because you have trained your body like Pavlov's dog test. God says marriage is honorable in all and the bed undefiled. But fornicators and adulterers God will judge.
I am on a campaign. Hugh Hefner sent a copy of Playboy magazine to every male college student indoctrinating them. We started a sexual revolution that went against the Word of God, and it has damaged our society. I want us to start a counter sexual revolution for purity. The only way to do that is to get them into the Word of God. That's why I wrote Sex According to God. It tells you everything that God says about sex.
KRISTI WATTS: Let's talk about the issue of a person who is now married, but because they had sexual relations before they got married, they still harbor that guilt.
KAY ARTHUR: Tremendous guilt.
KRISTI WATTS: It is difficult for them to be with their spouse.
KAY ARTHUR: Yes, it is. When they get in bed, they have all of these memories, and many times these feelings of inadequacy, and many times these feelings of tremendous guilt.
I was immoral. I was a virgin when I was married the first time--physically a virgin but not mentally. In my mind, I had had sex, and in my mind, I had an image of sex. I got it from movies and other things. I got married a virgin, but then I was divorced. This was before I became a Christian. I went out and lived an immoral lifestyle and did things that I am so ashamed of. My son saw me be immoral. Things like that are devastating. How do you go on? How are you able to write a book about sex and talk about it? I know the grace of God. I know that there is a beginning. These gals want their virginity back before they get married. People want to be clean. They want to be whole. Jesus Christ came so that you and I might become a new creature, so that old things might pass away and all things become new. In this book, there is a way to recover, whether it is homosexuality or lesbianism or adultery or pedophilia. There is a way to recover because God is a Redeemer.
KRISTI WATTS: Amen. One last question: As a parent, what would a parent tell their child in today's society where sex is everywhere to convince them to stay pure for their wedding?
KAY ARTHUR: Use this book. It is an interactive book. Go through and mark the text and write down what you have learned. Go through everything God has to say. I don't believe that saying 'no' is going to do it. I don't believe in just vowing abstinence. I believe you have to have a fear of God. That is a respect of God and a trust of God, knowing that if you don't trust Him and don’t do what He says, you will reap the consequences.
KRISTI WATTS: That is the truth.
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